


Ten years

by AtPK



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtPK/pseuds/AtPK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where all relationships have an expiration date, Levi and Erwin's is coming up</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten years

It was a heaviness, a tightening, a sickness in his heart that just got worse the closer the date came. He was anxious and unhappy and if he could have come up with a single way for them to stay together he would have taken it in a heartbeat.

“Erwin,” he said, head down, as he continued to fold the contents of their shared wardrobe into a packing box. “Can’t we just ignore it?”

When he was younger, and had never been in love, he’d been relieved to have the clock, the instant knowledge between him and his prospective partners of just how long their relationship would last; two weeks, seven months, three years. He’d entered into every relationship knowing when it would end, and knowing that it would always end at its pinnacle, when everything was at it’s best. He’d been relieved then that the responsibility for ending a relationship would never be his and that he’d never have to experience a relationship breakdown.

At the age of twenty three, ten years had seemed a long time. At the age of thirty three, he knew just how short it really was.

His question was met with silence and, when he looked up, he found Erwin was staring at him, the look in his eyes switching from pained to stoic and quickly back again. Levi thought if he pushed the point right now that Erwin might just fold, but before he could formulate his next words, Erwin beat him to it.

“We both know how that turns out, darling.” his voice was soft, careful, not wanting to make the situation harder. “We’ve seen how quickly love can turn into hate.” Levi looked back down, putting all his attention into packing away Erwin’s clothes before the removal van arrived.

He knew Erwin was right, they’d seen it happen too many times to their friends, the ones who thought their love was too strong for it to break, but they had all always been wrong. A year, two years, five years after their expiration date had past, things turned bad. The expiry dates were there to ensure nobody had to suffer the heartache of love turning to hate.

“How much time do we have?” Levi murmured.

“Three hours.”

Ten years, and all they had left was three hours.

Three hours to pack everything into the back of a van. Three hours to check that nothing had been forgotten. Three hours before they said goodbye and never saw each other again.

It’s taken them a month to collect Erwin’s things from around the house, they’d both been reluctant, neither of them wanting to admit that the end was coming. It was only as they had started to divide between them the life that they had built together that the dread had started to creep into Levi’s soul, making him permanently cold.

It broke his heart, piece by jagged piece.

The van arrived, the removal men loud and intrusive, an unwelcome distraction from his pain. It was no longer just him and Erwin. It would never again be just him and Erwin.

Levi dumped a box into the back of Erwin’s car and then turned to watch Erwin talking amiably with the removal men. He always made it look so easy. Levi doubted Erwin’d have any problem finding someone new; someone to replace Levi. His own chances of finding anyone else willing to put up with him however, were, by comparison, quite slim.

With the van now packed and on it’s way to Erwin’s new home, there was very little for them to do.

“I love you,” Levi murmured.

That look crossed Erwin’s face again, pain and loss and fear tempered by a terrible resolve that told Levi that no matter what he said Erwin was going to walk out that door and out of his life.

“I love you.” he said again, only this time he couldn’t keep the desperation from seeping into his voice: please don’t leave me.

Erwin took the few steps to join him in the centre to the living room.

“Please darling, don’t.”

He pulled Levi into his chest, strong arms wrapping around him, holding him safe and warm and loved. Levi breathed in deeply, savouring the smell he’d begun to take for granted.

Erwin pulled back and kissed him on the forehead, holding his lips against Levi’s skin for several long breaths.

“I will always love you.” he said, earnestly, and then he was gone out the door and down the steps, into car. “Take care of yourself, Levi.”

He’d never again be Erwin’s darling.

Levi waved him goodbye and closed the door, staring around him with unseeing eyes. Slowly, he folded down to the floor, his back to the front door and his knees snug against his chest. And he stayed that way until Hanji came to force him out of it, her bright, jovial, enthusiasm overshadowing his dark, gloomy, pessimism and making it impossible for him to wallow. On the few occasions he did lock himself away and refuse to come out of his room, she set up camp on the landing outside his door and talked incessantly at him until he gave up and came out just to shut her up.

He secretly suspected that Erwin had put her up to it; still trying to look after him from afar.

At first it was easy for him to pretend that Erwin was just on a business trip and that he’d be back in a few weeks, and as long as he avoided looking in the wardrobe at the empty shelves that used to be Erwin’s, and diverted his gaze from the lighter, discoloured squares on the hall wall where their photos had once hung, he managed to keep up the pretense for a while.

When that eventually stopped working, he threw himself into work.

There were a couple of brief dalliances, which was by his design. He wasn’t ready to move on. He wasn’t ready to give up the hope that Erwin would by some twist of fate come back to him. Only those who’s expiry date gave them anything from three weeks to six months stood any kind of chance. There was only one instance where the expiration date gave them odds of sixty seven years, a life time and more, and he had walked away from it, as quickly as possible.

Then the thing he had been dreading more than any other happened. He bumped into Erwin … and his beautiful pregnant wife. She was so large it looked like she could pop at any moment, and she walked with a waddle, clutching onto Erwin’s arm. Erwin himself was also carrying a baby, not yet old enough to walk, strapped to his chest in a papoose. He seemed to glow with happiness, and when he caught sight of Levi, quickly trying to backpeddle out of the coffeeshop, his eyes shone even brighter.

“Levi,” he called. “How wonderful to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Levi countered, even though it must have been obvious he was lying through his teeth.

“You look well.”

“Thanks.”

“How have you been?”

“Oh, y'know, fine.”

They stared at each other for a few silent moments before Levi looked down at his feet and ‘the wife’ cleared her throat, obviously in an attempt to prompt Erwin for introductions. As dutiful as ever, he obliged.

‘Marie, darling, this is Levi.“

It stung to hear Erwin call someone else by the name that had once belonged to Levi.

“Oh,” she said brightly. “I’ve heard so much about you. Erwin still follows your career, y'know.”

Levi looked up and caught the faint reddening on Erwin’s cheeks.

“There’s not that much to follow.”

“Nonsense, you’ve really made a name for yourself.” Erwin quipped.

In the four years since they’d been apart, Levi had been picked up by a large designer company, and now had his own range on the highstreet. There was even talk of expanding oversees. In the four years since they’d been apart, Erwin had got married and made a family.

An array of drinks were pushed onto the counter and Marie thanked the barista.

“It was really nice to meet you, Levi.” she said as she handed Erwin his drink.

“Yeah, you too.” he lied again.

The baby on Erwin’s chest started to wake, gristling and moaning. Marie turned to leave but Erwin stayed a moment longer.

“Maybe you could come around for dinner sometime; you and your partner, of course.”

Levi flinched at the mere idea.

“I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Why not?” Erwin said, aghast. “I find it hard to believe that nobody has been suitable.”

“There could have been someone,” Levi bit out. “But I wasn’t ready.”

“I see.”

Erwin looked like he wanted to say more but at that moment Marie popped her head back in the door: “Erwin, dear, we’re going to be late.” She was stating her claim. Levi could imagine this meeting wasn’t easy for her either.

“I have to go,” Erwin said. “You should really find someone, Levi.”

“I’ll think about it.”

But he didn’t really think about it, instead he moved to Paris. As far away from any possibility of ever bumping into Erwin again. Hanji was an almost permanent visitor, and he’d come to think of the guest room as Hanji’s room. He met someone with an expiration date of four years, and right at that moment four years suited him just fine, after all he wasn’t getting any younger.

He’d expected when the four years were coming to an end, that it’d be amiable split, he hasn’t expected the Skype call from Hanji.

“You probably haven’t heard, have you?”

“What is it?”

‘Erwin’s wife, Marie, she died. A collision accident.“ Hanji explained. “I don’t think either of them saw it coming. I mean we all know our relationship expiration but we don’t ever think they’ll end because one of us died, right?”

“No,” Levi agreed. It had been hard to watch Erwin walk away, but he knew it would have been a hundred times worse if he’d watched him die.

“He asked about you,” she continued carefully. “I think maybe he could do with your friendship right now. It might help him.”

The day he caught his flight home, was the exact expiry date of his relationship with Michel, or Mike, as Levi called him. Although, he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last time they saw each other. Erwin was in a state. A five year old girl and a four year old boy pulling on him for attention he physically, and emotionally, wasn’t able to give them. When he spotted Levi from across the room, his eyes started to swim with unshed tears.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” he said. “I’m glad you did, but I didn’t you would.”

“It’s OK.” Levi said, reached down to pick up the little girl tugging on Erwin’s trousers. “I want to help.”

“Thank you.” Erwin all but sobbed. “I mean it.”

“I know. It’s OK.”

The little girl introduced herself as Isabel, and her brother as Farlan. And while Erwin went about doing what a grieving spouse does at the wake of his wife, Levi entertained the children, telling them about Paris and the Eiffel tower and the Champs-Élysées, and how everything was all lit up right now for Christmas, and the water in all the fountains was frozen. They listened, although he wasn’t sure how much they actually understood.

Levi spent a lot of time with the kids, taking them to playschool and the park, giving Erwin the space he needed. He eventually set up a home office so that he didn’t have to travel too much, and his next clothing range, the summer season, was exclusively for children, he even managed to convince Erwin to let Isabel and Farlan model the clothes on the catwalk.

Everything settled into an easy pattern. For almost two years.

Then, on the ten year anniversary of their first expiry date, the clock reset. It had been two years since the death to Erwin’s wife and in that time Levi had been a constant fixture in Erwin’s life. He got the kids up at 6.20, as usual for a week day, got them washed, dressed, made their lunch, and had them ready to go for when Erwin came down stairs, reaching for the car keys.

Erwin was usually home by 8.30, and then he’d get himself ready before heading to the office. He’d generally look in on Levi before leaving. Today, when he stepped into the doorway of Levi’s office, Levi was bent over his workbench, sketches for his latest range spread out in front of him, but he still felt it. The pull, the relax, the clock.

Levi turned around and looked at Erwin, the disbelief on his face. He would have been happy with this life, but the fates had taken it upon themselves to change everything once again. Erwin stepped into the room. His expression was just as incredulous as Levi’s. They stared at each other for a long hard few moments and then Levi put down his stencil and took the few steps towards Erwin.

“Will you have me?” he asked quietly, uncertain, looking up at Erwin with a beating heart.

Erwin pulled him in close, sheltering him in the circle of his arms. Levi breathed in deeply, savouring the smell he’d once taken for granted, and had missed for so long.

“I love you.” Erwin murmured into his hair, sending a shiver of excitement through him. “I didn’t think I could love you more then I did before. But I was wrong. I love you more now because of the way you love my children.”

Levi looked up at him.

“Will you take me back, darling?” Erwin asked.

Levi smiled and snuggled closer into his warmth.

This time they got ninety four years on the clock and at forty three Levi knew that would give them the rest of their lifetimes, and some.

“Yes.” Levi answered without hesitation. “I’ve waited for you for ten years.”

Ten years together. Ten years apart.

The rest of their lives to come.


End file.
